The Dead Bastard is our favorite example of how grim humor can offer succor to those in their worst hour. Along with the Suffering Bastard and the Dying Bastard, it’s part of a trilogy of drinks invented by Joe Scialom, bartender at Cairo’s Shepheard Hotel during WWII. Scialom served British officers holed up there during the bleakest days of the North Africa campaign, and invented the trilogy as a way to make better use of dwindling supplies as the Nazi tank forces pummeled the region. The Allies eventually prevailed against Rommel’s surprise incursion into Cairo and ultimately drove them back, no doubt fueled by Scialom’s Bastard beverages.
Absinthe cocktails have a long and dark association with death and the afterlife, for nearly as long as the spirit has been popular. In 1905, a Swiss farmer murdered his entire family and blamed it on absinthe, and by 1914 public sentiment had turned against the spirit so much that it had been banned in Switzerland, the Netherlands, the United States, and France. This gave rise to plenty of edgy cocktails that played on that reputation, like the Obituary, Corpse Reviver No. 2, and Ernest Hemingway’s Death in the Afternoon. In modern times, there’s the Necromancer and Martin Cate’s Undead Gentleman.
Tiki’s escapist fantasy has always had a dark side, and references to skulls and the occult abound. Death From Above is as weighty as its name implies with its three types of rum, while the Death Bed is quite light and pleasant in comparison; just the thing for shuffling off the mortal coil. The Bitter End is a clever play on its most prominent ingredient, featuring a massive float of aromatic bitters atop a classic rum sour. How to Kill a Friend pulls off a masterful balance of bitter, smoky, and sweet elements – it’s a rare tropical drink that can make use of the super-syrupy sweetness of Pedro Ximenez sherry, but it’s executed as efficiently as the “friend” in question.
Sometimes, an evocative name is all it takes. The Dead Man’s Handle is named for the safety break on a train that activates if the train conductor suddenly dies at their post – a grim but necessary provision. And the Deadly Sin has a name as classic as its recipe, harkening to the seven mortal sins described in the Bible and tasting like a cross between a Manhattan and a Martinez.
Finally, we leave you with a recipe that may leave you wondering if death is a better fate than the drink: the Death Flip. This may be the only drink in the world that calls for Jägermeister and a whole egg – but we promise, it’s a fate much better than you think.
